a journal of aching hearts
by a-black-ink-soul
Summary: i like tom, not voldemort but tom riddle, he is charming, charismatic and handsome. Before he went completly crazy when he was still just... complicated, he made a journal. this story is about the relationship that starts with tom and ginny talking in it.
1. Chapter 1

My second fan fiction :D, first individual one... well actually not quite so individual, seduced by moonlight helped me out ;). She is awesome, go check her out.. right after your done reading, rating and reviewing mine.

Anyways a bit about this story... this is tom and Ginny at the time of the chamber of secrets. Tom riddle is, in my mind a very charismatic handsome young man and I decided he would be good for Ginny, if only he didn't go just slightly a little bit psycho. Anyways, this story is about Ginny writing to tom in the journal and we will see where it goes from there, it's as much a surprise for me as it is you.

happy reading

(Reminder, review, constructive criticism and go see seduced by moonlight)

I hesitated, quill poised above the paper.

Memories of last night flitted through my head, waking up, my hands drenched with blood.

But then, his kind sympathetic words.

A drop of ink dripped off the end of my quill making a dot on the paper. It shimmered on the paper for a moment, my heart hammered fast.

The slowly it was absorbed into the paper.

"_cat got your toungue"_ came back the teasing words, I could almost hear the slurring mockery of his voice. Subconsciously I smiled.

"No I killed the cat," I wrote with a smirk knowing that he would appreciate the blood thirstiness of my humour.

"_No dear, petrified," he corrected, "I could never bear to see you take a life, never see the torture that causes on ones soul, leave that dreadful business to me, I shall protect you so you never need to."_

I smiled, knowing I should not take comfort in his willingness to kill, but after all in these troublesome times it seemed to come down to kill or be killed and I was glad that the blood would not be on my own hands.

He often assured me of his love through his actions. Of course he had not actually said the words yet, but I knew he meant it with ever action he took. He had told me it was all for me, and I believe him.

"oh, I wish I could see you" I scratched hesitantly in the book.

I held my breath as the ink faded away, his reply was a long time in coming. Eventually the words formed on the page in his old fashioned writing

"_ok but you're going to have to trust me, no matter what happens"_

I was nervous. He was powerful, I had witnessed firsthand the power he possessed, and the destruction he could cause, I myself had lent a helping hand in that, felt his power course through my veins But I also knew he loved me.

"ok, I trust you"

"before I can see you I need more strength, and I need you to help me get it"

He replied quickly almost eagerly.

The words disappeared and were replaced by new ones.

"now don't get scared, but I need...."

This confused me, never before had I seen him lost for words, he always had the answer, always so sure of himself.

"What? You know you can ask me, I'll do anything to see you"

"I need you, to put a drop of your blood on the page, don't worry though, it only needs to be a little bit and if you charm it first it won't hurt at all."

I didn't write back, unsure of what to do, it all seemed a bit sadistic, but romantic at the same time, a self sacrifice to be made for the chance at being together.

As I was thinking words began to form once more on the page

"I_t's ok if you don't want to, we will find another way to be together."_

Without letting myself to think any further about it I slit the skin on the palm of my hand and allowed the blood to drip onto the page.

The world began to spin, making me feel woozy. I fell heavily onto a cold stone floor.

I tried to stand, but I became aware of the blood still flowing from my hand.

'Dam it, I should have charmed it' I cursed myself

Then a hand appeared before my face, I followed the long, pale slender arm up to a handsome face.

I grabbed his hand with mind and he helped me to my feet.

He carefully turned my hand over, examining the cut on it.

Concern creased his forehead.

"you didn't charm it" he said in his smooth deep voice, it sounded exactly how I had imagined it, though there was something hidden in there, an emotion that I couldn't quite identify. He drew his wand and gently closed the wound.

The effort it took seemed to tire him greatly.

I looked up into his blue/grey eyes and decided I would do whatever it took to help him return to full power.


	2. Chapter 2 bulletproof smile

**Chapter 2.**

**Not a very long chapter, I don't seem to write long chapters. **

**Ginny seems a bit angsty in this chapter, I apologise for that. **

**But any way, read review (please, any author on here will know how important reviews are to keep enthusiasm for the story going) and check out seduced by moonlight.**

**And happy reading. :)**

**Next day-**

I sat at the long Gryffindor table, one of four that occupied the great hall, pleasant chatter filled the room, floating up to the ceiling that today reflected a bright blue sky with a scattering of clouds drifting lazily across. Bursts of laughter erupted spasmodically throughout the hall as people ate their breakfast. But I stirred my porridge around my bowl, talking to no one, who would talk to me. Harry barely noticed I existed, Hermione wanted harry for herself to much to want me in their group and Ron... Why I was just the annoying little sister to him. And it wasn't like I had many friends in my own year, they were all so... childish.

"Oi Weasley"

The shout from the Slytherin table shook me out of my daydream, but as I glanced up I realised they were talking to my brother.

'Of course they were Ginny, did you really think they were talking to you?' I mumbled to myself returning to my porridge.

I tried really hard not to do the teenage angst thing, I wore my smile like a bullet proof vest, but sometimes I got tired of pretending to find the childish pranks of my year amusing, I got tired of pretending I didn't care that Harry ignored me, and I am completely over being the baby sister at home, always the one who got picked on, always too little to play quiditch.

I was sick of fitting expectations, sick of conforming to avoid confrontation, I was sick of lowering myself to the level of everyone else. I raised my head, a new determination to genuinely not care anymore and my eyes were drawn to the Slytherin table, the self assurance was evident in all of them. I looked around at the Gryffindor table, girls gossiped and giggled, boys threw food. This was in stark contrast to the Slytherin table where quiet conversations took place and composure and class were respected rather than ridiculed as they were in the other houses. I felt myself drawn towards the Slytherins by a sense of belonging. I knew, however, what my family and friends all thought about Slytherin. Torn between my family and friends and an unidentifiable, unexplainable attraction to the Slytherin house I left the great hall early.


	3. Chapter 3 the fire of your soul

**Chapter three-**

**My second chapter up today, I'm either on a role or just obsessed :D**

**This one is a little longer than the others but still not too long. If you have any ideas or suggestions what I should put in please leave me a comment and constructive criticism is very welcome. **

**Remember to read, review and go see seduced by moonlight ;P **

**Oh and happy reading ^_^**

It was a Saturday so I had the day to myself, I should have been studying but the day was too nice to stay indoors. I quickly grabbed my bag from my dorm room and headed down to the grounds. I wandered to the very edges of the forbidden forest, I wasn't game to wander right into the forest but the shade under the trees was welcoming in the summer heat that was beginning the bear down on the lands despite the early hour.

I reached into my bag to get my books, but instead my hand strayed almost automatically to Tom's journal.

I drew comfort from the familiar tattered black leather, knowing that at least someone who cared for me would always be around

I drew a quill from my bag wondering if the journal would still work now he had left it.

"You there"? I slowly scratched onto the yellowed paper. I didn't expect a reply, but I was hoping for one.

We had both agreed that I shouldn't go to the chamber too often, with the entire school alert it would seem suspicious. But I missed him so much even though it had only been a day since I saw him for the first time.

My heart leapt as the ink began to rearrange its self on the paper.

"if you wanted me here where else in the world would I even think of being?"

I knew I was being silly but I couldn't help myself, each time I saw the shimmering ink appear on the page my heart began to race.

I had to still my trembling hand before I could write back.

"I wasn't sure you would still be here after last night."

"I am always here when you want me Ginny," came his reply "although some people will try and destroy this journal, it will always work for you, this journal works because it contains a part of my soul, and every time you write to me, the strength and fire of your soul makes mine stronger. No matter how they might try they cannot destroy a soul, only weaken it, and no matter how much they might weaken me, you will always be enough to bring me back."

I blushed at his words, glad for once that he could not see me. I knew a lot of people didn't agree with what Tom and I were doing, mostly the Gryffindor's, I heard them talking in the common room and the corridors. Most of the Slytherins agreed with it though, the ones who knew they were safe anyway, the pure bloods. Tom would never hurt any innocent students, he wasn't like that. He wasn't malicious. He simply wanted to maintain the honour of the school that he was so proud of, until it became befouled by half bloods. At first I didn't understand what was so wrong with half bloods, some of them seemed all right, and Hermione went well out of her way to prove that they could be as good at magic but them Tom explained to me how he had watched the school accept more and more half bloods as Dumbledore gained power and influence in the school, he had seen the effects they had on the school. They did not know the proper etiquette in magic, or understand the history and culture of the wizarding world, something that could not be taught.

"Tom, don't worry, I'll be at your side supporting you, until you are strong enough to fight properly, then they won't be able to touch us. Dumbledore will finally see the error in his ways and everyone will see the power pure bloods could have without the restraints of those dirty muggle borns and half bloods."

As my words faded into the paper I read them, realising how sinister they sounded, for a second I was frightened at what I was suggesting, that I would happily aid in the murder of at least half of Hogwarts.

'Murder' I whispered.

No. I shook myself to stop that train of thought dead in its tracks. Tom said he would never let me kill. He would protect me so I wouldn't have to. I wrapped his reassuring words around me to fight off the chill that had spread through my body at the dark thoughts.

"Ahh Ginny, how lucky I am that my journal fell into your hands" he replied. I could hear his voice marked with the smile that spread across his strong features.

"Hey Ginny," said a voice close to me making me jump. "whatcha smiling at?"

I looked up to see Vdaan Sloan, a quiet ravenclaw who was in my charms class.

"oh, hey Vdaan, I didn't realise you were there," I said trying to hide the journal "I was just enjoying have a break from school work but I guess I should get back to studying,"

"yeah, they teachers enthusiasm for homework certainly hasn't been a victim of these attacks" he said with a half hearted smile , "actually I think the homework might kill more students than the monster" I feigned a smile, wondering what he would think, what everyone would think if they knew I was behind the attacks.

"yeah I reckon," I said absentmindedly, "I'd better get back to the castle, I'm likely to dose off out here instead of studying, see ya." again I feigned a bright cheery smile as I grabbed my bag off the grass and hurried back up to the castle. My mind wandered to other things leaving my feet to carry me, out of pure habit, to the Gryffindor common room.


	4. Chapter 4 the real monster

**Heya guys, **

**I hope to have some more up soon, I actually sorta kinda have some sort of an idea where this story is headed now :) but enjoy this chapter while you wait.  
And please review, I would love to know what you guys think, especially about Ginny I am having trouble developing her character she just isn't coming out onto the paper as strong as I had hoped. So any suggestions, constructive criticism, anything, it's all really welcome**

**Happy reading :D**

The common room was empty when I entered, most people were outside enjoying the nice day. I sprawled out across a chair and closed my eyes for a few seconds as I regathered my thoughts and tried to push tom out of my mind. I wasn't going to get any study done at the rate I was going. I went upstairs locked tom's journal in my top draw vowing I would not take it out until all my homework was complete.

As I took out my history homework (a three scroll essay on the troll wars urgh!) I let out a long sigh. At the start of the year I was so excited to be coming to Hogwarts, all my brothers seemed to have such exciting times here. They obviously failed to mention in their letters home the monotony of the work. At first I had been excited and eager to learn everything but as the term progressed I found myself picking up everything with ease. However my class mates didn't seem to find it as easy, we spent lesson after lesson on the same easy spells and charms I perfected in the first lesson. I don't want to sound arrogant but I was beginning to get fed up with the incompetence of my peers.  
I allowed myself to indulge in another long drawn out sigh as I found my quill and settled down for a long afternoon of homework.

Just as I was finishing off the third page of my essay a group of Gryffindor's scrambled through the portrait hole that led into the common room. It was a group of fourth years. They didn't even spare me a glance as they huddled into a corner.  
They whispered in hushed nervous tones.  
Soon after they entered more and more students began filling the common room.  
Everyone looked scared and a few of the girls were crying (though their tears seemed to be affected by the proximity of the nearest cute boy).  
Everyone sat around in groups talking in hushed whispers.  
Never before had I seen the common room so full yet so quiet.  
I found Harry, Hermione and Ron sitting in their three usual chairs by the fire place with Fred, George, Percy and some other second years.  
Hermione was crying softly into Fred's shoulder, the others looked rather awkward at her tears but frightened themselves.  
I rolled my eyes as I walked over to them, everyone thought she was an insufferable know it all, especially the boys, yet they all seemed to fall over themselves to get to her whenever the situation arose.

"what's going on" I asked, not bothering to whisper. My voice seemed unnaturally loud compared to the hushed tones everyone was speaking in. This got me a few looks from those close by though most people were too absorbed in their own whispered conversations to hear anything other than their own paranoid mutterings.

Hermione's tear streaked face emerged from Fred's shoulder.  
"Oh Ginny how do you not know... everyone saw him... he's... he's" and with that she burst back into tears burying her head back into Fred's shoulder, which was by now quite wet from her tears although he did not seem to mind.

At that moment complete silence fell across the common room as professor Mcgonagall stepped through the portrait hole, noticeably white and her lips thinned remarkably even by her standards. She was followed by Dumbledor who stepped gracefully through the portrait hole despite his age. Everyone waited with bated breath, fearing the worst of the news they brought.

Dumbledor's half moon spectacles flashed grimly as he faced all the scared faces before him. His eyes displayed no emotion, however their blankness was a little too complete, revealing it to be a mask.

"I'm sure you are all aware of the afternoon's incident, a young Slytherin boy, Ronnie Tul, was attacked, it seems," he paused trying to find some conviction within himself "it seems by the monster of the chamber of secrets. He suffered severe injuries, some will heal fully but some, there is little hope of a full recovery from."

With that Dumbledor swept silently back out of the portrait hole.

Talking erupted the second the fat lady swung closed. The noise escalated as everyone began to talk over one another.

"QUIET" professor Mcgonagall eventually snapped. Quiet fell once more across the common room, although not as abruptly as when Dumbledore entered.  
"you are all to remain here tonight, no one is allowed out of the common room out of hours, no exceptions. Prefects will make sure of that," she glanced at each of the prefects to ensure they understood their duty "look after each other" she added in a slightly softer tone then she too left.

Conversation sprung up left and right again, no longer did people speak in whispers rather yell so as to be heard over each other's shouts, but I barely heard a word.  
Shock and disbelief clouded my mind. I felt detached from everything going on in the common room.  
I could tell Dumbledore knew what he told everyone was wrong. I could tell because apart from him I was the only one who knew what actually happened tonight, even if I hadn't seen it.

The monster that attacked wasn't the basilisk, it was Tom Riddle.


	5. Chapter 5 tortured memories

**Chapter 5**

**Hey guys, I'm not very happy with this chapter, I'm still having trouble with Ginny, so if you have any ideas about her or anything else, reviews would be most appreciated ******

**As always happy reading.**

"Tom what the hell have you done?!" I scratched into the journal. I had made an excuse to go to my room as soon as I could without raising suspicion, everyone thought I was just shaken, the boy was in my year. Although I had no classes with him it was enough of an excuse to get me out of the common room. The ink smudged in my anger.

"Ginny, I'm sorry I should have let you know somehow but I didn't know how to." His reply came back. His pathetic attempt at an apology only made me angrier.

"No, you shouldn't have told me, you should have done it in the first place" I snapped back, almost tearing the page with my anger.

"Ginny, just let me explain" the ink formed the words in his always perfect old style cursive, where as my writing was a mess, how could he not even be upset, he just almost killed a boy! "When I was still at school, his parents were in the year above me. They made my life hell, they waited after my classes, found me in the hall ways. They practiced curses and hexes on me. I started fighting back but I wasn't strong enough to face the two of them along with their friends and they punished me more for it. I practiced alone in one of the secret passages, perfecting curses they could only dream of performing, but I was still outnumbered. Each time as I endured mind numbing pain at their hands I found escape in vows of revenge. I learnt to remove myself from the pain. But in order to do that I had to sacrifice who I was. Tom hid deep inside me protected by Voldemort. Oh voldemort was so much more powerful than I. In the face of their torture Tom would shrink away and Voldemort would surface. Oh how I hated Voldemort at first, he was malicious and evil. But as I heard him laughing in the face of their torture, spitting vows of revenge in their faces I realised how Voldemort could protect me, make me stronger. I eventually embraced Voldemort as a part of me. But I had to fight him while I was in Hogwarts, I had to keep him hidden inside me. That's why I opened the chamber of secrets the first time, so he could exact his revenge is secret. But before our revenge was complete they school was almost closed and I had to stop. I vowed my revenge would be complete when my journal was found and the chamber was reopened once more." I felt my resolve softening, my anger faded away along with his words. Toms story saddened me, I could not fathom why someone would do that to my Tom. "I was to gain power, rid Hogwarts of the scum then move on to take my revenge."

Anger flared within me one more

"so that's all you wanted me for?" I scribbled, my hand shaking with anger making the words barely legible. "To get power from me so you could kill half the wizarding world? I won't help you any more Tom. I loved you so I won't turn you in, but I won't be the one to help you kill hundreds of innocent people."

My tears fell on the page blotching the paper momentarily before they too were absorbed along with the ink.

I ran out of the common room, the journal clutched to my chest and tears streaming down my face. I ran through the corridors, not caring if I got caught out of the common room. All I cared about was getting rid of the journal as fast as possible.


	6. Chapter 6 an addiction

**Hey guys, **

**Please review.  
If you don't think it's worth reviewing or you think it's bad, it's your reviews I need the most, I would really appreciate it if you would take a minute and let me know why you think it's bad so I can hopefully fix it.  
I still do need those positive reviews though to keep up my enthusiasm which is slowly dying.  
Sorry about the wait for this chapter.  
Anyway, as always happy reading**

I missed him like crazy, there was no denying it.

My days were spent in a constant vicious cycle, of depression then day dreaming about the conversations we had in the journal way into the night. Half way through my day dream I would mentally berate myself for allowing myself to forget what he had done, what he was planning on doing and what he was capable of. Then the cycle would start again.  
My thoughts were confused and half finished and dark shadows crept slowly under my eyes. Nobody noticed, for that I was grateful, it wasn't in me to lie about what I was upset about, I felt more like I would burst into tears.  
I knew I should tell someone what he was doing. People were going to die. Was it still my fault if I didn't actually help? I knew what was happening, I could stop it. But I loved him. At least I thought I did. I wasn't sure anymore. The boy I loved was sensitive and caring, not someone who would viciously attack someone. Then I would think about the horror story that had appeared in crimson ink on the journal page. The physical pain wasn't any more than the emotional pain that had been inflicted upon him.  
I was in a constant struggle with myself. I was determined that I would not give in and forgive him and that I wouldn't give him up to Dumbledore, it was my compromise to ease my conscience. But then split second lapses in my determination would see my mind flooded with doubts. 'perhaps if I showed him there was a better way to live' 'it will be my fault if someone dies' 'it was probably just a mistake' 'I can clear Hagrids name'.  
I would fight such thoughts off quickly and deliberately but they still left a gaping feeling of guilt in my stomach.  
In the scarce moments when I slept it was impossible to keep my guard up. Tom would visit me in my dreams. He seemed so real I could not tell if he was using his skills in legimancy to visit me, or if it was just a dream. I would wake to find myself hoping he was really using legimancy to visit me because that meant he cared, that he was the sensitive boy I thought he was, that he wasn't a monster, but I pushed these thoughts away with slight regret.  
He became like an addiction, I couldn't sleep because I was afraid of what thoughts would come to me in sleep when my guard was down. But I began to crave the dreams, just so I could see him, real or not.  
I could see myself shrink into a shadow of what I was.  
Half of me argued that it was his fault, that he did this to me.  
The other half maintained that it was his absence that did this because our love was so strong I couldn't stand to be apart from him.

I was sitting in the common room, In my chair by the fire, mindlessly working on my homework. When my consciousness snapped to attention at the mention of toms name. In the din of the common room it took me a while to identify where I had heard the name, then I heard it again, this time I recognised Harry's voice. He was speaking in low tones to Ron and Hermione. I don't think they realised whispering was making them more conspicuous. It didn't take long to figure out what they were talking about, harry had the journal. My resolve finally broke. I needed the journal back. I tried to tell myself it was to protect harry. But hidden by denial, I knew lay the truth. I was jealous of harry, he had everything, money... fame and now he was going to take Tom. I couldn't let that happen.

**Random A.N- being a harry potter fan fiction and all I assume those of you who are reading this are fans, so could someone please leave me a message explaining to me why the wizard people don't use that truth serum, veritaserum or something I think it's called, on all those people who they didn't know if they were death eaters or under death eater control or indeed in all wizarding trials? Sorry I know its random but it's been bugging me forever and I would like to know if there is a reasoning there I missed. Cheers, a black ink soul**


	7. Chapter 7 destruction, means to amends

**Hey, sorry for the late update. Been busy, you know how it goes. Anyway it's up now.  
You know the drill read rate and comment.  
As always, happy reading ^.^**

I looked around the boy's dorm with disbelief at the mess I had made. Once I had let my desire for Tom through my defences it had overcome me. I would have done anything to get that journal back. This was the effect Tom always had on me, he released something in me that I didn't know was there. When he was around I was unrestrained for the first time in my life. Although it scared me like hell I liked the way it made me feel so powerful.

I heard voices laughing down in the common room, shocking me out of my stupor of disbelief. I tore my eyes away from the destruction and fled down the stairs, then as quietly as I could, crept around the common room to the stairs to the girls' dormitory. I nearly ran up the stairs and into my room, grabbed a quill of my bed side table. On my way down the stairs I had to slow myself down. It would look suspicious if I was seen running from the common room just before the destruction of the boys' dorm room is discovered. Walking almost painfully slow I walked through the common room, trying my best to look casual and to keep the diary out of sight. Not that anyone gave me a second glance.

Once I was out in the grounds I broke into a run until I reached my favourite secluded tree. After looking to check no one was around I hoisted myself up into its shaded branches. The sun light filtered through in little pools. The thick green leaves shut the world out and I was able to breathe normally again for the first time since I found out harry had the diary.  
I picked up the diary, flipping absently through the pages, watching as they were momentarily highlighted as they passed through a small patch of light then back into shadow as they came to rest on the opposite cover of the diary.  
I savoured the familiar smell of the pages, then the calming smoothness of my quill gliding across the page.  
"Tom?"  
"Oh, hey"  
"Ginny that's you right?"  
I was slightly upset, he didn't seem to be as excited that I had the diary back as I had hoped.  
"yeah, sorry about what happened last time we wrote"  
"it's all right, but do you understand why I did what I did?"  
No I thought to myself, but then I don't understand why I do what I do half the time so it wasn't too big a deal for me.  
"yeah, I guess I kinda just freaked out a little. Are we ok now?"

"sure Ginny, as long as your happy I am"  
I leaned back onto the branch behind me and closed my eyes and soaked in the warmness of the day. A gentle breeze stirred the leaves making the lights dance. I slowly opened my eyes.  
"you still there Tom?" i held my breath as a waited for his answer, which seemed to take forever coming.  
"always." Came his is reply.  
"can I come see you tonight?"  
"I would love you to Ginny, but if you get caught..."  
I bit my lip trying to contain the smile that was creeping across my face.  
"I swear I won't get caught, any way, percy wont give me detention or anything and especially wouldn't suspect me of anything, I'm his dear innocent little sister remember"  
I waited anxiously for his reply.  
"You may be a dear Ginny but you're not all that innocent, I think I may be the only one who sees it though. If you promise you are sure you won't get caught I am dying to see you again."  
A grin spread across my entire face, I had a plan all set out.  
"ok well I have to get back to the common room, the teachers don't like it if we are out alone and I wouldn't want to get in trouble now would I?" I wrote slightly flirtatiously. I didn't flirt much, mostly because there was no one around worth flirting with, but I enjoyed a little flirting now and then.

I jumped from my branch in the tree to the ground and half skipped back to the castle, ready to put my little plan into action.

**AN- broke 5,000 words, yay!! :D**


	8. Chapter 8 an act

**Okay.. so this isn't the best chapter, but I should really be studying and it's a lead up to the next chapter, and its along chapter too, like almost 2000 words!!!.  
Ginny is being a bit of an actress in this chapter.  
I'll try and get the next chapter up as soon as I can, not sure when that will be, as I said I really need to study.  
Ok, so you know the drill by now, read and review. Constructive criticism... anything.. its all welcome :D **

When I got back the Gryffindor common room was in a stir. People talked conspiratorially in corners, or were rushing up and down to the boys dorms. I smiled to myself, perfect, Harry discovered his room. I pushed my way up the stairs to stand beside Ron, Harry and Hermione.  
"What happened Harry" I asked making my voice quiet and shy and laden with concern.

"I dunno Ginny, we came back from dinner and just found it, someone was looking for something."  
I frowned slightly and looked up through the strands of my deep red hair that had fallen across my face, it was the look I used almost daily on teachers to get out of detention, and not to mention on my mother to stop her mid rant.  
"What could they have been looking for, what did they take Harry?" I asked playing up the concern and the innocence in my voice, but Harry looked down on me with no trace of suspicion in his eyes only something that looked like brotherly adoring but slightly different.  
"I dunno Gin, nothing seems to be missing."

From the way Hermione and Ron glanced at each other behind his back I knew this was not true. They had discovered that Toms diary was missing.  
Dumbledor and Professor McGonagall burst through the crowds, shooing students back into the common room where they would join in the speculation about who ransacked the room.  
"Harry?" Dumbledor asked when everyone but the four of us and the other boys who shared the dorm had been ushered out.  
"sir, I...I don't know..who...what happened." Harry stumbled.  
Dumbledor's half moon spectacled flashed as he looked over them at Harry  
"Is anything missing Harry?" he asked carefully.  
Harry's eyes slid from Dumbledors onto the floor, "no," he mumbled.  
"are you sure Harry," Dumbledor asked as though he knew Harry was hiding something. "anything at all, no matter what it is might give us a hint to who did this. And why"  
Harry glanced at Ron and Hermione before he fixed Dumbledor with a determined gaze.  
"no" he said once more, this time a bit more firmly, although, his voice still was slightly unsure.  
"ok, get this place cleaned up." He said turning to leave. "oh and Harry" he glanced back from the door way, "be careful, we still don't know who the heir is, any suspicions are still unfounded, so everyone is a suspect" Harry blazed red, sure that Dumbledor knew his suspicions of Draco. Little did he realise everyone knew that he suspected Draco, even Draco himself, which he revelled in.  
As Dumbledor turned once more to leave he fixed me with one of his signature piercing gazes. I had this sinking feeling in my gut that he was on to me. I fought to keep my face from going the same colour as my hair. And people thought my mother was bad!

We all stayed to help Harry tidy up. In the small dorm the extra people made it crowded and chaotic. Perfect for my plan. Under the guise of helping pack Harry's clothes that had been strewn across the room into his trunk that he usually kept at the end of his bed but was up ended across the other side of the room. I quietly wondered how I had thrown the trunk across the room as I dragged it back to the end of the bed. I crawled under the bed where I knew I had thrown the invisibility cloak. I dumped a pile of clothes on his bed on top of the invisibility cloak and began folding them. Halfway through I picked up a school shirt, dangling it from two fingers I screwed up my face.  
"Harry...?" I asked to get his attention. "how long has it been since you have done the laundry?"  
"umm... what's that Gin?" he asked absent mindedly.  
"Oh never mind," I huffed, "I am going to go and fix these shirts, they're so dirty."  
I scooped up the pile making sure I had the invisibility cloak on the bottom.

I stalked back to my room where I dumped the clothes and flicked my wand at them performing a simple freshening and cleaning spell my mother had taught me.  
I tucked the invisibility cloak under my robes and headed back to Harry's room with his clothes I tossed them on his bed and with another spell folded them and placed them in the trunk. I looked around the room where almost everything was back in its place. There were a few things tucked in the corner that I had broken but everything looked like nothing had ever happened.  
"I wonder what they were looking for," I probed as I walked up to 'the three'. I wanted to see how much they trusted me or if they suspected me at all.  
they all looked at each other before Hermione replied in her bossy voice  
"lucky? He has had his room destroyed!"  
she turned her back on me once more and I stalked off fuming at her sharp reply. "stupid muggle born bitch" I muttered as I walked out of the dorm.  
I stalked out of the common room and to the toilets. As soon as I was out of sight I threw the invisibility cloak over my shoulders.  
I carefully made my way through the castle and out into the grounds.  
It wasn't curfew yet but no one was out, fear had spread like wild fire through the students even, although none of them would admit it, the Slytherins.

I mused at how stranged my arm looked at it became visible as I knocked on Hagrids door.  
'show time' I thought to myself and smirked momentarily before I heard Hagrid stirring from the table sounding like he knocked over almost every chair as he made his way to the door.  
As he opened the door, I left out a sniffle.  
"Hey, who is there?" He bellowed almost breaking my ear drums.  
letting the first few tears flow out of my eyes I let the cloak fall from my head.  
"Ginny!" Hagrid exclaimed. "Come in, what time is it?"  
I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand.  
"curfew started about an hour and a half ago" I lied in a small voice. "But Hagrid I couldn't stand it anymore!" I said making the tears start flowing once more. "they...he" with that I dissolved into sobs, burying my face in my hands for dramatic effect.  
I could feel Hagrid stirring uncomfortably beside me, unsure what to do. I almost stopped sobbing and started laughing at his awkwardness.  
"er... ill get you a nice cuppa and you can calm down and tell me what it is that's got you upset" he said clumsily standing to put the kettle on. I looked up at him through my lashes and nodded, wiping the tears from my cheeks but I kept more flowing down after them.  
Hagrid set a bucket sized tankard down in front of me filled with a black looking liquid that smelt nothing like coffe. As I brought it up to my lips I realised it tasted nothing like.. well anything either. Trying hard not to spit it out I gave Hagrid a weak smile aver the top of the cup.  
"Now what's got you all upset Ginny," Hagrid said gulping down his 'coffee', obviously his taste buds had died years ago from his cooking.  
"well, it's just that, Ron's meant to be my brother, but he never wants me around. And then Hermione, I think my mother loves her more than she love me and I don't know why, she is so bossy and isn't nice to anyone and the kids in my year don't talk to me, I know they all think I'm weird, and I think they're right." I was slightly shocked by how nearly true all of that was and how easy it came out. Sparking an anger I didn't realise was there.  
"and Harry," I continued "he doesn't even realise I love him, he doesn't even realise I'm around most of the time," well maybe that bit wasn't so true, but the story needed sparking up a little "He loves that bitch Hermione, he doesn't see he is too good for her."  
I dissolved once more into little sobs.  
"ahh Ginny, I'm sure they love you, how could they not, they all just don't know it yet, or know how to show it, and even if you are weird, there is nothing wrong with that. There is scarce little normal around here."  
I looked up and wiped my eyes once more.  
"I... I suppose your right" I said meekly "I was just being silly,"  
"it's ok Ginny, you would be surprised how often I get visits from the other three like this, they are far worse than you are" he replied gently, well as gently as a half giant ever got.  
"I should probably get back now... ill be in trouble if I'm caught out."I stood to leave "oh..." I added just before I got to the door "you wont tell them what I said or that I had the cloak will you?" I asked desperately.  
"no of course not" he said slightly guiltily.  
"thankyou Hargid" I said hugging him with a broad grin.  
With that I tossed the cloak over me once more and started off back to the castle, with still another half an hour to go before curfew.

Alibi covered I smiled to myself. I knew Hagrid wouldn't be able to stop himself letting it go to harry that I 'love him' and with Hagrid thinking it was about two hours later than it was, I was covered for the next two hours. I laughed at how easy the man was to fool.

As I approached moaning myrtles bathroom I stopped, Percy was snooping around there again. He was determined to solve the mystery of Slytherins heir single handed. I couldn't go near there while he was there so I watched him as he paced the door in front of the bathroom and traced with his finger where I had written the messages on the wall.  
I shuddered as I thought of the blood that tom brought me to write the message from creatures in the forest he told me. I looked down at my fingers imagining once more that they were dripping in blood like they had that night. I had spent hours in the shower trying to get the smell off them, trying to wash clean the corruption. I remember hot tears splashing down my cheeks to be swallowed by the water from the shower the whole time.  
I jumped slightly as Professor Lockhart came striding happily around the corner.  
I couldn't hear what he said but a few minutes later Percy walked right past me looking very grumpy, and professor Lockhart walked off in the opposite direction.  
I walked into Myrtles bathroom and shrugged off the invisibility cloak, ignoring the pathetic sobs coming from Myrtles toilet.  
'_Tom,' _I pushed my thoughts out to him, knowing with his skill in Legilimency he would hear. "C_an you let me in?"  
_suddenly the opening to the chamber opened.  
'_Welcome to your palace, my princess' _

**AN- now hit that review button, go on, you know you want to :P**


	9. Chapter 9 faded memories

**I am back, gotta love procrastination right?? This is the best ever procrastination method cause it looks like you are doing work, but you're not!  
Ok so this is a little bit of a D and M between Tom and Ginny, I was going to have it a bit more romancy and less angsty but that's not how it turned out so, eh. :D  
you know how it goes, read then review.  
And a big thank you to those people who reviewed last chapter, I love you guys :D**

I descended down into the chamber, shivering slightly as it got colder as I followed the path that twisted and writhed like the snakes that decorated all the doors that barred its path.  
The doors opened automatically for me when I reached them, I knew Tom was in my mind to know just where I was so I controlled my thoughts carefully, trying not to let him see just how scared I was. Though I think some of it must have gotten through, he was far too good at legilimency even in his current weakened state for me to contend with him.  
When the last door opened he was waiting for me, he took my hand and helped me down the small step into the central room of the chamber.  
He drew one of his long slender fingers down my cheek,  
"you have been crying" he said, his deep voice rippled with concern.  
I smiled, "oh, no I haven't, well I have, but not really" I fumbled.  
He rose an eyebrow at my self contradictory words, his hand gently tracing my jaw line.  
Our closeness made my head spin for a minute as I caught the full gaze of his grey blue eyes. "Just a little bit of acting" I said composing myself again, berating myself for my clumsiness over my words.  
"Don't worry," he said playfully, "I have that effect on people" a mischievous grin spread across his face and I realised he was literally reading my mind.  
I reddened further to a shade that must have been darker than my hair. At my obvious discomfort and embarrassment he laughed.  
"Relax Gin," he grinned, the smile transforming his face from that of mature handsomeness that made you forget he was just seventeen into a playful teenager that made you forget he was born over 50 years ago.  
"it's kind of hard, I'm in the chamber of secrets with the heir of Slytherin, who is a memory or something of a boy who lived over 50 years ago, I trashed my brothers best friends stuff today, and on top of that someone" I said with a glare at Tom "is invading my thoughts which I can't understand let alone control at the moment"  
"I'm sorry," he said looking genuinely remorseful, "I kind of, don't realise I'm doing it sometimes."  
I felt his presence, which I hadn't noticed the strength of until then, withdraw from my mind though I could still feel it close by.  
I wrapped my arms around him, hating to see him so upset, I realised how hard this must be for him, he was 50 years away from the life he knew, he had to live in a chamber under the school and he couldn't talk to anyone except occasionally me or go even go outside. I felt his arms wrap around me in response.  
"What was it like?" I asked, resting my head on his strong chest, "50 years ago I mean, when you mad the journal"  
He was quiet for a long time and I was worried I had gone too far.  
"From your memories, it was basically the same as it is now. The night I made the journal, it was nearly Christmas, and I had to go back to the orphanage, I was happy at Hogwarts and going back there wasn't like you going home where you family loves you and everything, it was like going to hell." He paused for a long time and I felt the weight of his emotions in his presence that I could still fell although not as intrusively as before "There had been a dance the night before, to farewell the other schools that were there for the tri-wizard tournament. I was so happy after that, I knew that having to go back to the orphanage after such happiness would destroy me. So I made the journal, so part of me would never have to leave, and would never forget that happiness." I suddenly realised he was guiding my feet in a slow waltz through the slight connection in our minds, behind the guidance I could feel the sadness and remorse of a happy memory tarnished by tragedy. I looked up to meet his eyes, but they were far away, lost in time. "But the journal took something from me, the piece of me locked inside it took all that happiness I felt that night and left me with none of it, nothing to sustain me through the summer I spent at the orphanage. When I returned to Hogwarts I wasn't the same. I tried to put the emptiness I felt into the diary too, hoping it would be taken from me, but you can't take nothing away. The empty feeling and the numbness grew, turned into anger, at first I was glad because the anger at least felt like something but then anger tuned into hatred and from what I have seen of my future self in your mind, into a vicious monster."  
He rested his head on mine, and was silent, I wanted to ask what he meant by 'what he saw of his future self in my mind', I was sure I didn't know him other than through the diary, but I left it knowing, chances were he wouldn't hear me anyway, he was too far lost in his thoughts. We continued to dance for hours, he was guided by the music of his memories. I eventually gave in to the silence and shut my eyes against his chest. Tears leaked down my face, real tears this time, for the pain I knew he felt, the tears he had kept hidden for all those years, soaking into his old school robes.


End file.
